The Friendly Enemy

“Its funny how sometimes the people you’d take a bullet for, are the ones behind the trigger.”

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I think we all, at some point of our lives, encountered the experience of the Friendly Enemy.

Some people call them hypocrites, fakers, two-faced, Judas, turncoats, best friends. Unfortunately, I’m one of those people who believed that it wasn’t nearly possible for a friend to be backstabbing.

My story begins like any other naive teenager who looked for her identity in this world that suddenly appears to be too big, too scary. We suddenly feel the need of an anchor, someone to be our ally and confess in them all of our dirty little secrets, feel like they matter, like we matter. I trusted wholly, became even emotionally and socially dependent, on that one anchor. And it ends up being a typical story of the backstabbing friend who changes drastically in the time span of a year. Then slowly, you learn things that the friend did behind your back, that the friend said behind your back during the time when you’d give up anything for them.

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It’s not a sad story when you realize that you’re stronger from that experience. Of course, you feel stupid for having trusted them but at that time I guess they were actually genuine. With time people just reveal who they are, and who they are going to be the rest of their lives. That’s what adolescence is meant for: finding yourself. And I’m glad I grew up right. At least, I think I did. We never really find ourselves and I’m sure that hypocrite hasn’t found herself yet, at least I hope for her. But still, our choices make us who we are. Our actions make us who we are. So, if you choose to strip yourself in front of a webcam while the crush of your ‘best friend’ is eagerly scrutinizing every inch of your naked body, that only makes you an easy hussy with a serious lack of self-esteem. I’m not sorry.

Friendly Enemies come back to you like parasites. When they see that their actions brought them nothing but regret and loneliness they come back to the people they hurt with a smile as if they did nothing wrong, thinking that the more genuine their smile appears, the easier they’ll be accepted back. The thing is, we’re not all as easy as they think we are.

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Friendly enemies do not care about you. They just care about being listened, surrounded, admired. They proudly say that they do not need anyone. They’re like bees, going from flower to flower, taking away their pollen (in this case: information) and put that pollen in another gullible flower.

Knowledge is power. And Friendly Enemies know that very well. They acquire the maximum of information from the maximum of people and know that knowing about those people mean that they have an influence, a control over their actions. They know people depend on them.

Friendly Enemies like criticizing people above all. You may feel privileged at times, but keep in mind that if they are able to talk sh*t on people, they are very much able to talk sh*t about you. I want to make an appeal to all those girls and boys and hermaphrodites out there who trust someone deeply: THE ONLY ONE YOU CAN TRUST ENTIRELY IS YOURSELF. You may trust some people a lot, but never, ever, ever do it 100%. 99.9% is okay. You never know who may turn out being untrustworthy.

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Fortunately, there’s that wonderful thing called Karma 🙂

Friendly Enemies often do not last long in a group of friends, because eventually the group will realize that there’s a hypocrite lurking around, judging, talking behind people’s back to the same people they talked about, behind their back. The most gratifying thing is seeing them alone. I know I sound mean, but after all they did, I just have to be satisfied.

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The world isn’t perfect, the people even less.

Nevertheless, despite the existence of Friendly Enemies, I think we all should focus on the bright side of things. There ARE true friends out there, and it isn’t your fault if you happen to fall on the wrong ones. Eventually you’ll find someone who’ll be worth your secrets, your confidence, your affection and even love. People are not bad, they just choose to be. And you are smart if you make smart choices. Friends are wonderful. They are another crazy, smarter, incredible, sensible version of you.

Friendly enemies may be horrible to people, but they may be hypocrites because of reasons we do not know. Maybe they are just depressed, lonely or have issues at home. Some of them may feel like they do not fit and are scared of completely trusting someone, so they’d rather have people trust them and then they hurt them before being hurt themselves. Justifying their actions is not a good thing, i know, but well, I can’t help but hope that people are not as bad as they seem to be. Just like people are not as good as they seem to be.

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Nevertheless,

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there is a balance in everything, the only thing that makes a difference is the choice that you make.

Peace out.

M.C.A.L

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Being Straight about Gays.


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Congratulations to the gay community of California! It now becomes the 13th state, and the largest, to allow same-sex marriage 🙂

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Still, some *cough* assh_les *cough* are voicing out their frustration. I’m all for giving your opinion, as long as you do not harm anyone.

Here’s one:

“This outrage tops off a chronic pattern of lawlessness, throughout this case, by judges and politicians hell-bent on thwarting the vote of the people to redefine marriage by any means, even outright corruption,” said Andy Pugno, general counsel for the ProtectMarriage.com Coalition.

But he did not, however, actively threaten to fight on.

“It remains to be seen whether the fight can go on, but either way, it’s a disgraceful day for California,” he said.

[Source]

But well, criticisms will never end. If we spent all of our time listening to them, we wouldn’t have time to rejoice 😉

Nevertheless, I think that people nowadays, even if they are more ‘open minded’ they still have a sort of misconception about Homosexuality.

According to Wikipedia, Homosexuality is “romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior between members of the same sex or gender.”

In the Bible, homosexuality is “an abomination”, “a detestable act” and those who are ‘guilty’ of it “shall surely be put to death.”

Let us take a moment to think about the absurdity of this definition

Done?

Okay, so let’s start.

Homosexuality is the concern of no one else but those who actually are together. One’s sexual orientation is private. Just like the porn you hide under your bed, or in your internet history. Banning it is taking away people’s choice to be with the person they love. We should be free of choosing whoever we want to be with and to have a family with. It is revolting when we think about it. I mean, two people who love each other should not have to justify why they want to be together, why they are who they are. Adolescents feel that need constantly, and it is annoying enough.

If close-minded people encourage people of the same ethnicity, religion, class and colour to marry why should they be against those with the same sexual identity? I know, the answer is ‘obvious’, ‘it is not natural, it goes against all the norms and values set by society’. However, love should not be a legal concern whenever religion, ethnicity, sex or class is concerned. You can’t choose who you love. And others should not choose it for us either. It just…happens. And making them feel like it is wrong? Bullsh_t. You just cannot accept change. Change is good when countless of children are being neglected or abandoned by straight, poor, underage or irresponsible parents and want to be adopted. Change is good when the rates of divorce have had a 41.3% increase over the years because of unhappiness in marriages. Change is good when gay people have had enough of constant persecution from homophobes but still fight for their rights every freaking year. Change is good when Gay, lesbian and bisexual teens are five times more likely to commit suicide than their heterosexual counterparts.

The Stonewall 2012 Survey discovered that 3% of gay men and 5% of bisexual men had attempted to take their own life, compared to only 0.4% of men in general. In the 16- to 24-year-old age group, 6% of gay and bisexual men had attempted to take their own life compared to less than 1% of men in general. In May 2013, the death of Mark Fear highlighted the need for further research into suicide among later age groups in the gay community. It is already well documented that the suicide rate for men generally increases with age.

This is why it is essential to stop this injustice.

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Years ago, racism was accepted by the majority because they didn’t know. They didn’t know that black people are no less intelligent that white ones. They didn’t know that love between a black and a white person is perfectly normal. They were ignorant; just like they are now. They thought black people weren’t normal human beings just as now when they think of homosexuals. Women’s rights are the same. They just wanted to fight for their rights and they made a change.

In fact, they are stronger since they know what persecution tastes like. Let us fight for it to stop.

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Side note: Homosexuality is not a new phenomena, it has been going on for as long as humanity existed. Shakespeare had love affairs with men. Even better, Oscar Wilde was a homosexual. He is one of the most popular examples of persecuted homosexuals of the Victorian Era.

[Link]

Homosexuality isn’t just about sex between two people. It is about love. Religions preach love too, but they are ironically the fiercest opponents of homosexuality. 84% of people who attend church regularly and 81% of self-identified Evangelicals support the Proposition 8 (the law against same-sex marriage)

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Religions are against it because they know that if people support it, they won’t have any control on them. Actually, how can be base ourselves on the Bible when it has been modified several times? We can’t. One mistranslated word can lead to a completely different meaning.  And sadly, homophobes relish using it as a means to fight off those who do not want to Conform to the ‘rules’ that only serve the Elite.

Unfortunately in Mauritius, homosexuality isn’t really accepted. This is because here, the population is made mostly of people of asian origin: Indians and Chinese. Then you’ve got the Africans and the Europeans.  Asian tradition focuses on marriage between a man and a woman. Religion and traditional culture dominate our way of life [although it is changing with the new generations]. However, young people are still very close to their family and they feel the pressure of having to fulfill their expectations. Being gay is only going to bring shame upon their family name. There was this case in 2006 I think, where a girl was imprisoned in her own house by her parents because she wanted to be with another girl. Everyone in the family participated in tying her up on a chair and spend days brainwashing her into becoming heterosexual again. This is how it was. Institutionalized and internalized homophobia is a horrible phenomena.

Now there are organizations such as the ‘Collectif Arc-en-ciel’ group which fights for LGBT rights and organizes Gay Pride parades every year. Sadly, I do not see any chances for the Mauritian government to legalize same-sex marriage in the future 5-10 years.

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The persecution has to end.

What can we do?

We must fight this epidemic through reaching out, understanding, empathizing and supporting people. We must do more to retain interest; instead of people coming and joining in once or twice then disconnecting, we must help them to integrate and take part, becoming long term members of and contributors to our community and organizations. We may need to follow up non-attendance. Where people are striving to reach their goals we must take an interest, mentor and encourage. We have already lost too many gay and lesbian people to suicide and we must resolve to do more to fight this scourge.

[Source]

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Let me be straight about gays, they just happen to be different. If you do not agree, don’t get all hysterical about it. Come, let’s take a cup of tea while discussing the reasons why you’re wrong 🙂

Here’s a song that may change your mind:

Same Love – Macklemore

Peace out.

M.C.A.L

We are the change

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Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world right in the eye. – Helen Keller

From the first days of our socialization into this wide, wide world, we have been taught things that were supposed to make us grow up into better individuals. We were introduced to the notion of politeness and were sanctioned if we were rude. Respect and integrity were displayed everywhere, in movies and newspapers, as virtues that anyone should have if we wanted to be honest and responsible citizens of this ‘perfect’ world. We were shaped to fit. And those who didn’t went straight to the societal trash.

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But, as a child, I did not understand any of that, because I was still learning the notion of right and wrong. However, some less glorious qualities still  confused me. I did not understand the word ‘jealousy’. I did not know that I had to be jealous if my sister got a bigger Christmas gift than me. It wasn’t until my mother told me to stop being jealous that I actually felt jealousy. It was then that I began being jealous of the new clothes of the little girls I saw on the street, of the amount of toys my cousins always played with when we went to visit them. It is when we are exposed to an emotion that we begin to feel its impact on our being. The challenge is to tame it; as emotions can be dangerous when we forget to control them.

Nevertheless, I understood principles. I grew up believing that honesty was the best policy and that being fair brought you further than those who weren’t. I enjoyed the idea that the world was just, and doing your best was what was asked to be successful. How wrong I was.

In a society like Mauritius, where the Elite reigns over the common people, meritocracy is a fairy tale. No matter how hard you work, you will probably never reach the professional position of the one in control, but only of the one being controlled. The glass ceiling does not exist for those with power, money or reliable social relations. Sadly, it only does for those who have none of these three.

How do you expect the future generation of young adults to believe in hard work and meritocracy if both factors are ignored when a competing candidate *knows* the CEO? Favouritism is a common factor in Mauritius and it is starting to annoy the hell out of me. I want to work hard and earn what I deserve. But society is forcing me to cheat if I want to be successful. Forcing is a strong word. But it is what I feel. It isn’t fair for someone who has grown up believing in fairness to be told to accept favouritism as a means to an end. It isn’t right. The Elite taught us that. But then the old generation tells us to take ‘shortcuts’ if we want to get what we want?  Do you realize how messed up this is? Trampling on common principles to bypass the one who worked hard his whole life to get what he deserves isn’t right. Using connections for a promotion isn’t right. Using family ties for a job acceptance isn’t right. The Elite teaches humility to shut the common people up. They use religion to calm down riots and make the common people go back to work so that they can make more profits on the People’s scarred, bent and rough back.  The Elite cannot understand what the People feel. They do not care. Yet, they claim they do.

The only way to end all of this is through exposure. Exposing all transactions and documents explaining why things were done a certain way would clear out all blurry situations. Then, people will stop asking questions, and others will stop hiding answers. The Elite will be Forced to accept Meritocracy as a way of living. Then the new generation will feel like what they do is going to bring real results, not the made up ones used to slow down stubborn hard workers. They will feel that it will be worth it.

I’m not saying that our world is perfect, or will ever be, for that matter. But stop trying to fight for equality because it may never happen is like stopping the fight to eradicate poverty because it may always exist. We must never give up; it is our role to make a change. We are the change.

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M.C.A.L